Rigo's Place

Stories about the trials and tribulations of Rigoletto.

My Photo

As you can see from my photograph I’m a cat, but not just any cat I’m Rigoletto the world’s greatest cat. I can’t tell my age, you wouldn’t believe it anyway. My very favorite food is olives, the jumbo kind with the little red worm stuffed inside just in case anyone should want to send me some. I live somewhere in the U.S.A., but I’m not allowed to say where. Dad be afraid the town get sued or we get thrown out.

Sunday, May 15, 2005


STOP, STOP don’t click that mouse and move to another page. I’m no longer a flat liner I’ve hit a mountain peak in my ratings battle with my buddy George. I just viewed my Stat Counter and I’ve gained readers from all over the world. So hello to you folks from the UK, Canada, Germany and Russia and a big time thank you to my friends in the U.S.A. And a big thanks to my friend Amy and her pals I know with your help I’ll win the ratings battle. Thanks for reading my Blog. I don’t know if you folks from across the ocean know any American cats but we’re pretty much the same everywhere. Though my Mom say’s I’m a real people person, I want to get acquainted with everyone who comes to visit my parents. Not so my deranged companions, they flee the moment anyone enters our home, which is just as well since no one wants to have anything to do such over the edge brainless cats. Once again a special thanks to you folks who visited my Blog I hope you return many times to read of the trials and tribulations of Rigoletto.


The phone rang it was my friend and best buddy neighbor George. It was late and I wondered why George was calling at this hour. Didn’t matter because I knew it didn’t concern me. I continued to watch the boring TV. Mom and Dad were talking in quiet voices but I paid no attention I was dozing and almost asleep when I heard Mom say, “Wake up, Rigo.” I paid no attention I didn’t want to wake up I wanted to sleep.

“Rigo, George called he wants you to spend the night and watch movies with him tonight do you want to go?” asked Mom. I did one leap straight up almost touching the ceiling, YES! I screamed. George’s giant movie screen and surround sound loomed before me I’d heard Mom and Dad talk about his state of the art home theater but never did I imagine I’d be invited to his bachelor pad to watch moves on such a fine masterpiece of entertainment. My heart raced wildly never did I dream of such a thing. I thought I’d always be confined to small screen TV programming. What difference did it make what I watched on our TV it was always the same, news programs, food network, QVC, re-runs of ancient comedy shows or Opera. That was my fate, but now I’d been invited to George’s digs for state of the art movies. “YAHOO!” I screamed.

Mom wanted to know if I was certain about spending the night and watching movies after all I’d never been away from home. I pretend not to be over anxious I told Mom it would be a nice change of pace for me and that George must be lonely all by himself. I thought I’d better go and keep him company after all it would be doin’ a good deed. Good deed doer that was me.

My scheme worked Mom picked up the phone and told George I could come and keep him company for one night only. Dad got my carrier down from the attic and this time I didn’t mind going for a ride in it. The doorbell rang it was my buddy.

“Nice of you to invited Rigo for the night George,” said Dad. Before another word could be said Mom began with RULES. First rule was I could only watch “G” rated movies, no X,Y,Z movies were allowed said Mom trying to kill everything. Rule two, no drinking of any thing with “spirits” in front of me and most certainly I was not allowed “spirits.” Did George understand rule number two? George didn’t even try to answer he just nodded his head in agreement and remained silent. Another rule was added, Sleep. I was young and needed my rest, did he understand. Again George just nodded in agreement. I was so embarrassed I hid my face in my paws hoping to melt into the carpet.

Then Dad stepped in before any more rules could be added. Quickly he picked up my carrier and motioned for me to run in but before I could make my move Mom pounced. “Wait!” she said. He must have his facilities he can’t be without facilities over night. George didn’t have a clue about facilities.

My heart sank it was over before it even began George would never agree to carry my facilities to his house. Dad explained to George about the facility situation. And of course I did need my facilities I couldn’t do without it over night this had suddenly become a very dead deal.

But it wasn’t dead George did indeed have a place for my facilities no problem. “Let’s go, Rigo,” said my buddy as I was about to follow him out the door. “Wait!” screamed Mom, I couldn’t walk I had to go in my carrier. Another major embarrassment hit me in the face. Dad to the rescue again, I was only going next door I’d be perfectly safe with George. Mom wasn’t certain, I’d never been outside, anything could happen. Dad explained I couldn’t get lost following George and he was certain I wouldn’t run off not with movies looming before me. What a great guy is my Dad.

Quickly George picked up my facility box and walked out the door. Like lighting I was out the door behind him. “Don’t walk in the street,” Mom shouted as Dad closed the door and locked it tightly. We had made our escape and I was on my way to George’s digs for a night at the movies.

George was almost running as we made our way across the dark lawn. Yea, at anytime Mom could come running after us with yet another rule. We made it safely to George’s digs. I must remember to be polite and not do paw springs across the sofa and chairs. I must not forget what my parents have taught me.

George turned on the lights and led the way to my place of business for the night. Then it was time for the grand event. I wasn’t prepared for what I saw when we entered “The Theatre.” A giant screen filled three walls; huge speakers were expertly placed around the room. Then he showed me the elevated control center it was an oversized lounge chair in the center of the room. A fire red remote control unit sat on a table next to the chair. He could control everything from his giant control chair. Then he showed me how to dim the lights that would be my job he told me to my delight. Immediately I started flickering the lights but was quickly told it wasn’t a toy to play with but was a responsible job he had given me. Wow! I was in the big time and I must not fool around. George had placed a great responsibility on my shoulders and I couldn’t let him down.

George continued showing me how the remote control unit worked but didn’t offer to let me take command. I had enough responsibility managing the lights I suppose. Next he showed me the loaded snack bar. He had a microwave, convection oven, a mini refrigerator filled with “spirits” of all kinds plus an assortment of soda, for me I suppose. And a full size popcorn machine, all of this was at his fingertips, he never had to leave his chair.

He told me to take a seat next to him on an extra comfy chair that he’d brought in just for me. Then he grabbed a beer from the frig. Rule number two broken immediately; I was in for a swingin’ night! “I didn’t forget you, Rigo, ole boy,” said George grabbing a soda pop for me. Ah, this was the life I thought as I settled back in my extra comfy chair taking a drink of strawberry soda, my very first. Very good soda indeed, wonder why Mom and Dad never gave me one, I would soon find out why. Suddenly my eyes zeroed in on THEM sitting next to the control chair, OLIVES! A giant jar of Spanish olives with the little red worm stuffed inside, my very favorite food in the entire world. My heart raced, was it for me? Would it be rude of me to ask? Since all rules had been blown away, I blurted out, “are them olives for me?”

George just laughed at my rudeness, of course they were for me he’d simply forgotten about them. Quickly he opened the jar, grabbed a saucer and napkin for me and set the giant jar on the table next to my chair. How many delicious olives would George allow me to have? He didn’t care how many I ate the jar was mine. Mom was always stingy about the olives I was only allowed two at the most, now I had a giant jar of olives all to myself. This was to be a glorious evening indeed. George got the popcorn machine fired up, grabbed the making’s for hot dogs and slid the buns in the oven and the dogs in the microwave, grabbed a huge bag of chips and we were almost ready for movie time madness.

Would it be science fiction or action adventure? I wanted none of that mushy romance stuff; I wanted real action adventure movie makin’. The dogs and popcorn were ready, I had my olives plus an over stuffed dog and chips, I was ready for “lights, camera, action!” George gave the order to lower the lights. Proudly I clicked the switch and the lights began to dim what a moment that was for me. A blast of sound screamed passed me almost lifting me from my chair I thought my eardrums had exploded. What was that? Another blast screamed passed me, it was a rocket ship blastin’ it’s way across George’s theatre. Star War’s real time comet’s screaming past my chair, I’d never seen or heard anything like it before. I knew I’d be deaf before the evening was over, I didn’t care if George could take it so could I. I even got aliens attacking my blog! If you don’t believe me, just click here.

We watched move after movie, it was two in the morning when I noticed the time. The popcorn machine had slowed down and the dogs were no longer barking in the microwave. I’d eaten more than half of the olives and drank all the soda pop. I stuffed the delicious dogs down my tummy and wondered why Mom had never given me a stuffed dog I was soon to find out why. The only thing I didn’t stuff down my gut was the popcorn it was too hard on my gums.

My tummy was beginning to make sounds, it had never talked to me before but I paid no attention I continued to eat olives although they were beginning to taste like I’d eaten the pits instead of the little red worm. It was around three in the morning when my tummy spoke to me strongly I was feeling the fizz from the soda pop – gas! Then the dogs hit me, then the salty olives I thought I was going to die. Could it be that was why Mom never let me eat all the olives I wanted, why I never had a stuffed dog or soda pop all this junk food wasn’t good for me, George had tried to kill me with junk food.

I was about to make my protest to him but he was asleep in his giant control chair all at once I knew I had to make it to my facilities. I made a mad dash across the room, but it was too late I had my revenge on George I threw up all over his theatre. “What happened,” he screamed jumping from his giant chair. “You tried to kill me with junk food,” I moaned and threw up again. It was horrible everything that went down my gut came back up in a most terrible way. I’d never been sick a day in my life now I felt I was about to die; Mom’s really do know best.

“Call my Mom I want to go home,” I sobbed. The thought of my going home terrified George. He was a dead man for sure my Mom would snatch his head off for making her precious Rigo sick. George pleaded with me, we’d watch more movies he tried to bribe me with X-rated movies it was pitiful. George was almost crying he was so terrified of Mom. I calmed him down by telling him I wouldn’t call Mom but I needed a quiet place to lie down.

He sent me to the guest bedroom and brought a bucket in case I got sick again. Oh, I knew I was about to die why did George let me eat junk food. Next time I’d bring my own delicious canned cat food or some nice chunky dry cat food and I knew it would be a long time before I wanted to see olives with the little red worm stuffed inside. I guess I must have passed out because the next thing I knew it was morning. I had a slight headache but my tummy was feeling better. Slowly I crept from the room and made my way into the theatre. The mess I’d made had been cleaned up, poor George. But where was he, the temptation was there to take command of the control center but from somewhere deep inside my mind a red flag began to fly – It was not mine and if I wanted to live I’d leave it alone.

I made my way through the house to the kitchen George was setting at the table drinking coffee and looking awful. I apologized for the stomach mess on the floor but I wasn’t use to junk food and I’d never touch it again. So began the morning, I was ready to go home but wasn’t sure how to approach the subject seeing he was so frightened of Mom. Then the telephone rang, it was Mom she wanted me home pronto. I knew I’d never be invited to George’s digs again but I wanted him to know I did enjoy the movies and was honored he let me control the lights. I was sorry I got sick, but I knew he didn’t try to kill me we just didn’t know junk food is bad for cats. George patted my head and told me I was welcome for movies whenever I wanted to come, but it would be best if I brought my own food. What a guy, what a pal, threw up all over his pad and he still wants to watch movies with me.

Folks, I hope you have friends like that.

God Bless,


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