Rigo's Place

Stories about the trials and tribulations of Rigoletto.

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As you can see from my photograph I’m a cat, but not just any cat I’m Rigoletto the world’s greatest cat. I can’t tell my age, you wouldn’t believe it anyway. My very favorite food is olives, the jumbo kind with the little red worm stuffed inside just in case anyone should want to send me some. I live somewhere in the U.S.A., but I’m not allowed to say where. Dad be afraid the town get sued or we get thrown out.

Tuesday, November 30, 2004

THE SUPER SNOOPER - News From Around The World And Beyond

NEWS ALERT

Leaf Rage – Man arrested in leaf rage incident. For 34 years a town in Connecticut has refused to pick up man’s dead leaves. Why you may ask when his neighbors leaves are picked up, because leaves were piled on his property, left to die, and not left to create mess in the street. Man has had dead leaves piled in his yard for 34 years and the town wonders why he got mad. He spit and swore at city workers (no way to make friends,) so they called out the cops and had the poor fellow arrested. They charged him with a breach of peace and now he has to appear in court could go to jail and all because of 34-year-old dead leaves. But city officials say if he’d ask politely they would have picked up his leaves. What do you think?

NEWS FLASH

Foxes Win! London – Britain has outlawed fox hunting in England and Wales. Hooray! For the foxes, no more run to death by the hounds. How would you like to be chased by a pack of angry hounds? Believe me being a cat I can certainly see the point of view of the poor fox.

BREAKING NEWS

Venice’s historic opera house has reopened with a gala performance of Giuseppe Verdi’s (English - Joe Green) La Traviata. It took eight years to rebuild the opera house that was completely destroyed by a fire that raged all night. Why did the opera house burn to the ground? Because of a lack of water, the canals around the theatre situated in the center of a lagoon were bone dry.

I do think I spell something rotten here. Italian electricians start opera house fire at just the time when the city drained the lagoons dry. Me think electricians and city officials were in it together. Now I know most people don’t like the opera but in Italy opera is king, like native son Pavarotti. So why did they burn the opera house down, so the city could collect money, opera had to be held in a circus tent on a city owned parking lot during the years of rebuilding. Imagine, having to hold grand opera in a circus tent what a horror.

Folks, those officials really cashed in big time. Now they’re collecting more money by charging hundreds of tourists tons of money to pass through a silent, empty opera house.

COMMENTARY

Why do people fear opera, I was raised on it. From the time my parents brought me home I’ve heard nothing but opera, classical music or Perry Como. I’ve heard of something called rock, but if I even mention it to Mom she has a fainting spell and appears to be dead until I promise never to mention the word again.

The people who sing opera are the very best singers in the entire world with the exception of Mr. Como who was the best singer of popular music. I know most Americans don’t understand opera because of the language difference. Pay no attention to that just listen to the beauty of the music and to the fine strong voices of the singers. If you want to know the story or the libretto of the opera go to your local library and check out a book on opera. Check out a video or DVD of an opera, most opera’s have subtitles so you can follow the story.

Mom was introduced to opera by The Three Tenors (Carreras, Domingo & Pavarotti.) They are the best singers in the world, the very finest of the fine. I say this because it’s true, not because I can be bribed with free concert tickets but if anyone knows these guys please tell them to send expensive front row center ticket my way. Mom got to go to one of their concerts a few years ago in Washington, D.C., believe me it wasn’t easy, she had to track them all over the world before she could find a ticket she and Dad could afford, you don’t get three for the price of one. No, these guys are gold plated tenors you don’t get to hear them for nothin’. So guys if you’re out there reading this how about sending Rigo and his Mom a free ticket. I am after all named Rigoletto because of you.

NEWS FLASH – I think the guy’s have split, called it a day. Mr. Pavarotti has retired, but I personally think he’ll be back to sing another day. His former manager has written a book “The King & I” which I’ll review for you after the holidays.

Mr. Carreras and Mr. Domingo are still going around the world doing opera’s and concerts they’ll sing until there’s not another note of music left for them to sing and that will make the entire world happy.

Mr. Como I’m sad to say passed away in 2001. He was a great singer and a very nice man.

NEWS RELEASE

Wax museum founder Madame Marie Tussaud’s birthday, 1761. Make a wish and blow out Elvis, Madonna and Jimmy Carter. What is this, they want to melt Elvis, Madonna and our beloved Jimmy Carter surely this can’t be so folks. This was from our local paper so I can’t give out the name for fear they may melt.

That’s it folks, catch you next time at Rigo’s Place.
God bless you,

Rigo

Friday, November 19, 2004

THE SUPER SNOOPER - News From Around The World And Beyond

Correction:
This reporter made an error in last weeks report. I reported the Clinton Library would open in Small Rock, AR. I was informed by reliable sources that the city is Little Rock. What difference does it make, small or little it must not a very big. But I must be accurate in my reporting.

COMMENTARY:

Clinton Library opened in Little Rock, AR. Yes, the Clinton Library is officially open to one and all. Folks, it rained, it poured on Clinton’s big day all was wet and gloomy but it didn’t stop the famous from attending. Former Presidents Bush #1, Carter and President Bush #2 came flying in for Clinton’s big day. They had to it was their duty to attend, all presidents unless sick or dead have to attend library openings no matter whose library it may be, no matter if they don’t like him they are forced by law to come otherwise nobody would be there.

President’s Bush #1 is so cool; he’s my kind of guy. He’s eighty years old and likes jumping out of airplanes, with his shoot on of course. Caution don’t try it without one. I’d like to go sky-diving with him one day, if anyone out there knows President Bush ask him if he’d take me sky diving. Tell him I think he’s a real cool guy.

President Carter was there of course; he’d be there even if he weren’t invited. He’s always sticking his nose where it don’t belong. Poor fellow is so puffed up and full of himself I fear he may explode. He reminds me of the emperor in the old fairy tale the Emperor’s New Clothes, parading around for the entire world to see without a stitch on.

Then there’s President Bush #2 I can’t talk about him while he’s still in office he may send his hounds after me; anyway the poor guy has enough troubles.

It was a real bash, a high-end affair, movie stars, rock singers and big band music even royalty came out in the pouring rain to celebrate Clinton’s big day. All came to open his library on the Arkansas River. Folks have you seen his library? Sorry to say I think it looks like a jacked up trailer house or as The Economist magazine stated a “glorified house trailer,” Even John Gibson of Fox News compared it to a double wide trailer house. The vote is in it looks like a trailer house, a trailer house that at anytime may just slide into the river never to be seen again.


NEWS FLASH:

Boy Scouts under attack from ACLU. Yes, the Boy Scouts have come under fire from the ACLU they want them off all military bases because they love God and country. It’s not acceptable to love God and country anymore no indeed it might be a bad influence on our military men and women. Folks, me think the ACLU is out of touch with America, what do you think. Let’s all call the ACLU and let them know we think. Yes, burn up the phone lines, jam them with calls let them know they’re out of touch with America and God will get them one fine day.


COMMENTARY:

Another crazy! PETA, yes the PETA folks are at it again this time it’s the fish. We are not to eat fish anymore because it’s cruel to the fish. No more fishing allowed. Now this is certainly upsetting to me, as I am non-human, I’m a cat and all cats love fish. What am I suppose to do, I love fish guts, one of my favorite foods. My Dad’s a fisherman and he is not happy about this let me tell you. PETA people get your head on straight; leave the fish thing alone before they lock you up in the looney house.

Now I tell you a good thing to do: protect all geese and ducks foreign and domestic. I had a friend who lived at a lake near our house. He was a domestic goose, who went by the name of Big Boy, he and his flock became good friends of my parents. Then the state decided to make the area where Big Boy and his flock lived into a nice pretty park. Geese as you know can be a little messy, but geese are geese and it’s not their fault when nature calls they must go and since no private facilities are provided for them they “go” where they please. This didn’t please park officials and now the geese and most of the ducks are gone. Domestic geese are not protected from harm or being up and moved elsewhere. Little children came and played with them, gave them food all was happy but not anymore the geese are gone, but the park is nice and clean.

And that’s the news as me see it.

Coming up next time Venice Opera House reopens; Foxes Win, Leaf Rage and many more exciting articles from your feline reporter.

Catch you next time and may God bless you and yours.

Rigo

Friday, November 12, 2004


Today's News

THE SUPER SNOOPER


NEWS RELEASE – Special Report

This reporter has the scoop of a lifetime. Me has it from secret sources that former President Clinton wants to be Secretary General of the United Nations. In other words he wants to be King Of The World!

The U.S. gave him retirement with big fat pay check, plus security guards, plush office in New York City, not Arkansas they won’t let him back in the state. Now he be tired of doin’ nothin’ but roamin’ the world lookin’ for a home so he decided he’d make the whole world his home.

Kofi Anna who’s the king now is near retirement and plans to buy and island somewhere in the middle of an ocean but won’t say where. He doesn’t want any drop by company. He wants to BE ALONE and who could blame him the world hasn’t been all that good to him because when you’re king of the world you get blamed for anything that goes wrong anywhere in the world and right now the world is in a real mess and it’s all his fault. So, he plans to buy his island and turn the world over to Clinton. Talk about troubles, folks you ain’t seen nothin’ yet!

NEWS FLASH!

Bill Clinton library due to open next week in Small Rock, Arkansas. Yes, my sources tell me they let Clinton in state for 24Hr.s then he has to go. This be big shindig for Arkansas, people come from around the world. Yes, Clinton library is almost ready to rock and roll on the big Arkansas River. Sources also tell me that Monica may attend ceremony as guest of honor and to sit next to Hillary, and then the fireworks will begin with a world-class bang. My thoughts are the library will find itself in the middle of the river along with Billy boy.

NEWS FLASH!

Hillary Clinton will run for U.S. President in 2008. That’s what my sources tell me folks you can take it to the bank. Mrs. Clinton wants to be President and her husband Bill wants to rule the world through the UN. Can you imagine what the world will be like with Bill and Hill running it? Is there anyway I can buy a ticket to another planet?

COMMENTARY

Don’t miss my friend George’s Freeware Review Blog. Great Blog with lot’s of free stuff. George not charge you anything it’s FREE folks, FREE so take a look see at GEORGE’S FREEWARE REVIEW.

George is responsible for this reporter’s Blog. He saw my potential as a journalist and decided to connect me to the world. Yes, my good buddy George is responsible for it all, yes indeed.

I’ve never been to journalism school, matter of fact I’ve never been to school. I’m a cat and very smart so no need for school. But I learned the five W’s of journalism, who, what, where, when and why from an old sitcom “Perfect Strangers” they taught me all I need to know about journalism. I always dreamed of working for a big metropolitan newspaper but no need for that anymore, not with my own column going to press anytime I want to report the news and no deadline to meet, I just connect to the Blogger superhighway and I’m the journalist I always dreamed of being and George made it all possible. So folks support George’s Blog, it’s free. Show him your appreciation for making my journalism skill’s shine.

Catch you next time.

God Bless,
Rigo